How My Marriage Ended with a Brick: Peep Edition

Alternate title:

If a Brick Falls on an Unsuspecting Wife in a Happy Marriage,
Does it Make a Peep?

Just a teeny-weeny post today to say Happy Easter to those who celebrate…and to simply say “‘sup” to those who don’t.

Cuz that’s how I roll.

And if you haven’t yet introduced yourself and left a link to your blog on last week’s post, please take a moment to do so soon. It’s amazing to know that our happy community spans from Brazil to New Zealand, from South Africa to Canada — and all points north, south, east and west. I am LOVING the chance to get to know you all a little better, and I know you guys are enjoying perusing one another’s blogs. So thank you for making that post a fun one!

And speaking of fun…

Every year I look forward to Easter. For me it’s mostly about the children and family and hope and new beginnings and baskets and jelly beans and creepy giant bunnies and love. But not so this year, as today — sadly for me — my ex has custody of the kids.

So I found myself at loose ends.

Yet oddly inspired.

I love the annual Washington Post Peeps Diorama contest. If you haven’t yet had the pleasure, the Post has an annual contest where people create Peep-parodies in diorama form — which I shall henceforth call Peep-oramas — of different scenes: political happenings, pop culture phenomena, etc. There’s even a “Peeple’s Choice” contest in which readers can vote for their favorites. SO much fun.

And this year, I found this post about Peep-oramas of TV shows. Awesome. My favorite is this one of the Walking Dead:

Though I don’t watch the show personally, Boyfriend Brett does. Which means I do listen to it, as he tends to catch up on his favorite show while I’m writing upstairs. And all I can say is: If you watch the show, do me a favor and close your eyes during a zombie scene. Because to me, it sounds like a visit to the dentist’s office, complete with that sucky hose thingie, high-pitched squeals reminiscent of a dentist drill and an occasional blood-curdling scream.

Seriously. Try it. You won’t be disappointed.

Anyhow, with this year’s slate of Peep-oramas perused and no children in my home to occupy my Easter time, I thought I’d have some fun.

I hope you’ve all read how this blog started — the post that details how my marriage ended with a literal brick. If you haven’t, you may want to take a moment to follow that link now. Go ahead. We’ll wait.

Waiting…

Still waiting…

Oh good you’re back. Anyhow, I’m four years post-brick, and in this era of my healing, I’ve managed to find abundant joy in the humor that accompanies the symbolism of the brick. It really is the first in a long line of “You just can’t make this shit up” scenarios that introduced themselves into my life post-brick…many of which became blog posts.

So I thought to myself: It’s Easter. I love Peep-oramas. I have a few minutes. Let’s make a Peep diorama that reenacts the end of my marriage!

Now without further ado, I bring you a Sneak Peep (see what I did there?) at “How My Marriage Ended with a Brick: Peep Edition.”

Cast and Credits

Starring:

Mika-”peep”

“Weeping Peep-le” as my adorable children

“Peep”ing John

Peepilyn Manson

And special thanks to my Peep Makeup Artist:

Peep-friend Brett (Hugh Grant mugshot edition…)

So, friends:

  1. Thoughts on “How my Marriage Ended with a Brick: Peep Edition”?
  2. Anything egg-citing happen for you this Easter? (sorry…just had to go there…)
  3. Anyone else creeped out by the name “Peep-friend Brett”?
  4. Do plays on words including the word “Peep” ever get old?

And many thanks for giving me something to do this Easter; being without children on major holidays sucks ass.

Crap. Am I allowed to say “sucks ass” on Easter? Oh well…fuck it.

;)

About Mikalee Byerman

How can a sometimes bitter, definitely jaded, no longer trusting blindsided ex-wife still believe in happy endings? (not that kind of happy endings...sheesh, people...) By channeling her scary internal dialogue through a controversial blog/future book, swearing like a drunken sailor and spending all her spare time focused on helping others people heal. Oh, and wine...lots of good, red wine. Join me as I embrace my next best self (and help you discover yours) with Me 2.0!
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83 Responses to How My Marriage Ended with a Brick: Peep Edition

  1. Hey, I was commiserating along since I too am without my former little family for the first time in years and then there it was – right at the end – saving the best for last I suppose – one well placed “fuck”.

    K

  2. Lori Dyan says:

    Happy Chocolate Day, honey. I’ll have a glass of wine for you…
    xo

  3. Dan Bain says:

    Sure, you can say, “sucks ass” all you want. But you can’t say, “Crap.” It’s a little-known codicil to the Nicene Creed.

    Happy Easter!

  4. Julie Frayn says:

    I am without my little peeps too. Okay, big peeps, but still, without. So no Easter feast here, just leftover rice and beans and a big glass of wine.

    Loving the brick peeporama. Haven’t read the original brick post – going to do that now. As soon as I fill up my wine glass.

    Happy fucking Easter.

    • Excellent! Leftovers, wine and a sad brick story — sounds like a perfect Easter to me. ;)

      I hope your little (big) peeps are home soon…mine return tomorrow. YAY!

      • Julie Frayn says:

        Totally expecting a brick through a window, or some physical brick-like confrontation. Ouch. That hurts more. You should definitely not STFU.

        Peeps return tonight. Then we will watch Grimm and Glee – a wonderfully odd combo.

        • Thanks for the support — it was painful indeed! More painful emotionally than anything else, of course…I would gladly have taken a brick through a window.

          Enjoy your dichotomous TV marathon tonight!

  5. OMG, he does look like Hugh Grant! Or you cut out a photo of Hugh Grant because an HG-ish photo of Brett was currently unavailable? Having been “borrowed” by HG because, let’s face it, he’s getting older?

    Does Brett also sound like a pirate with a long ginger beard? Because that’s HG’s current film. Though if I hadn’t been informed it was HG, I wouldn’t have believed it — from the trailers, the pirate sounds nothing like the “fruits of the forest” HG of Notting Hill. Older voice?

    Easter was … uneventful. Nice walk on tended hilly path. Gorgeous weather. A few Hershey’s Kisses. Nothing egg-citing.

    So glad you have come as far as you have! Making a Peep-orama . . . you would not have been able to do that last year at this time. Congrats!

    • Yeah, that actually IS Hugh Grant — but there’s a picture of Boyfriend Brett in this post (https://mikaleebyerman.wordpress.com/2011/08/03/six-degrees-of-mikalee-byerman/) that shows the striking resemblance.

      Too bizarre that you ask if Brett sounds like a pirate: “Ahoy there” and “ARRRRGH” are some of his favorite expressions! I haven’t seen the Hugh pirate preview, but now I’ll be on the lookout…

      I’m glad there was at least a beautiful walk and a Hershey’s Kiss for you today — we have beautiful weather too, which makes it somewhat less painful.

      Thank you for acknowledging my progress, Patrice! I’m so much happier than I’ve ever been…in part thanks to time, introspection, healing and knowing myself now more than ever, and in part due to Hugh Brett.

  6. Dee says:

    again yet another awesome blog. I’ll say “sup” to you as dont celebrate easter but do celebrate the chocolate eggs. so eggciting. ok no where as funny as you but i try. Loved the peep-o-rama was a tad disturbed at peep-friend brett but he had to be in there somewhere.plays on words only get ol if you let them.
    Thankyou again for been so awesome and sharing your awesomeness. Most eggciting thing im doing today is cleaning out my room doesnt seem to matter how old or young you are its such a task and so boring until you find the stashed chocolate or coke zero (cant drink the diet stuff but loving your work with it)

    • Awww, Dee — thank you for the kind words and the wonderful “‘sup”! So nice to hear that my profound work resonates with discriminating readers…

      Also nice to hear I’m not the only one who stashes chocolate in my room. I like finding that more than I like happening upon a $20 bill in my pocket. And that’s saying something.

  7. I think I love you.

    I don’t celebrate Easter, but I’m enjoying the Matzah brick that is blocking my large intestine.

    Kinda the same. A brick shit. Vs. shit from a brick.

  8. That is awesome! From the token Jew!

    • Rob Rubin says:

      LOL. I’m Jewish in a Christian household. I’m the only one who looks stupid standing around alone while everyone goes up for communion. Sometimes, I think I might just go up anyway for the free wine and crackers.

      Happy Easter!

      P.S. If you check out my blog right now at http://themainland.net, my latest post details something so revolutionary, it might just change the blogging world forever.

      • Happy Easter (or not) to you too, Rob — too funny about communion! I swear in the past I’ve actually selected churches to attend based on whether they serve the “good bread and wine” versus the awful stuff. I’ve never been huge on organized religion (prefer to practice my religion more introspectively, if you know what I mean), so it’s the little stuff that counts in these big decisions…

    • Ha! I must be big amongst the Jews — you’re my second to comment today. Or perhaps you’re just the only peeps scouring the blogosphere tonight, as the rest of us are cramming ham down our necks and succumbing to a deviled egg coma. Or at least those of us with kids are doing that…me? I’m just drinking wine.
      ;)

  9. Heidi says:

    Sup?!
    The most egg-citing part of my day was running into you and Brett at the store which shall remain nameless to protect our reputations! <3 you guys!!

    • Sup with you, friend? Yeah, that was TOTALLY wild running into you at Whole Foods. Or was it Trader Joe’s? Napa Sonoma? Now I can’t recall…must be the Peep coma resulting from my afternoon art project…
      <3 you too, baby!

  10. You are much better off without Peep-ing John. His expression is vacuous and his ears are way too long.

    I bet your kids are thinking of you…

    thanks for a great post.

  11. rich says:

    she said fuck.

  12. Love it, so clever. So you’re not only a fabulous writer, but a great artist, too? Do wonders never cease? Not if they’re named Mikalee. ;)

    And, yes, I always hated not having kids on holidays. It does get better when they’re older and they have a choice re where they want to be. You’ll see, they’ll want to be with you hands-down! Sending you lots of hugs, Mik.

    • You’re too kind — but I do have to give huge props to Brett for the facial expressions. I love having someone in my home who can hear my ideas and make the images in my head come to life. He kinda rocks.

      Holidays without the kids suck…but it also makes me appreciate those when I DO have them so much more!

      Thank you for the hugs, Monica — always appreciated. And I’m sending some back your way as well!

  13. Harold says:

    Plays on words never get old!
    Peep-friend Brett – not creepy, but a bit sticky? yes
    Saw my grand niece Lila for the first time today!
    Brick peep edition – cool!

    • I’m glad you agree about plays on words — they’re my favorites…

      Sticky…ha!

      Congrats on the new grand niece. What a lovely name, too. Sounds like a pretty nice Easter, Harold — I’m happy for you!

  14. John says:

    Hilarious. The facial expressions slay me.

    • Brett is a closeted artist with some serious mad skillz. One day when I make my millions on my books, I will build him a home with his own art studio. Perhaps then he’ll come out of the closet…

  15. ~Sil in Corea says:

    Heheheh! I <3 your peeporama! Kids are all grown up now, but we went through it 30-odd years ago. It is true that when they get older, they will choose you. El Dopo will find his karma sucks big-time.

  16. Ashley says:

    Fun with peeps – LOVE it! Dioramas are a much better plan than actually eating those things…even though my 10-year old did manage to score some chocolate peeps this Easter. At least the package said they were chocolate. Oh, and the Walking Dead peeps were awesome – love that show:)

    • I’ve never understood the allure of a Peep, personally. It’s just pure sugar — there’s no nuance there! And any candy that doesn’t feature chocolate is not worth eating, IMHO.

      But a chocolate Peep — that, I can understand…

  17. You can say “sucks ass” all you want on Easter – you won’t hear a peep out of me, I promise!

    I’m a huge fan of The Walking Dead myself and will have to try your close-your-eyes-and-you’ll-swear-you’re-in-a-dental-office trick when it returns next season.

    I’d love to make a diorama myself. I’d parody The Sixth Sense and have my marshmallow character utter the classic line, “I see dead PEEP-le.”

    Nope. Never gets old…

  18. Jodi Aman says:

    So funny! I love them!

  19. Your make-up artist is incredibly talented and i enjoyed the special effects and stunt peep!

  20. michael says:

    Thrown the brick and got one back in my face too. Relationships do end hard, but then the work begins to learn from it, and then move on to discover a better person. Remember the definition of insanity which supports the idea of learning so that we don’t repeat the same mistakes. I had to learn this one the hard way.

    Insanity: doing the same things over and over while expecting a different outcome (-:

    • Agreed. I’m far better off for the entire experience — I now know so much better who I am and what I want. But of course, for me, the true tragedy centers on my children and how they’ve had to deal with a situation they never created and shouldn’t have to navigate. With any luck, the lessons I’ve learned will be passed on to them, making them stronger in the long term. But the short term? It sucks for them…

      Thanks for the comment, Michael!

  21. mj monaghan says:

    Yo, yo, WBFF!

    Glad to hear you survived Easter, in spite of being without child (see how I did that? It made it seem like you were not pregnant, which you are; or is it aren’t?? Is that a double-negative? I don’t not know for sure. This is a REALLY long parenthetical comment!).

    Any-who-zit, great job on the peeple diarrhea thingy – really well done! Love the brick smashed one, in particular.

    You have such a creative mind, and oh-so-much talent. It’s a privilege and an honor to know you, my friend!

    Holla atcha,
    mj
    WBFF

    • I’m so confused after reading your comment: Am I pregnant? Am I not? Are you being facetious? Do you think I suck?

      Nah. Just kidding. I know I’m not pregnant (despite the kids’ insistence that I give them another sibling — um, no thanks). And I know that you rock as a WBFF.

      The brick-smashed peep was my favorite. Glad you could appreciate it, too…
      :)

  22. kk50 says:

    I have been following your blog almost from the beginning. I have been in your shoes on the holidays (my ex actually talked my youngest into living with him). It has been great to follow your healing process. At the beginning you were mad and upset and talked about your ex and Marilyn all the time. But lately, you only mention them once in a while. What a difference four years can make. You have a wicked sense of humor (peeps) that I love. Some peole might find the peeps thing a little sick, but I love it.

    • It has been quite a wild ride, hasn’t it? But the blog itself has been such a significant part of the healing process, and I’m forever grateful to you and all my readers for reading, laughing, commiserating and enjoying. I’m SO happy you “get” the peeps thing … Brett and I had SO much fun with it! Sick, perhaps…but so appropriate! ;)

  23. Oh wow ! I have to go create a Sperm-Stalker PEEP-PER ! or A BUNNY BOILING PEEP…. ??? BTW, I love the PERP-PEEP Police photo of the Infamous Boyfriend !

    I posted a new post update too. Exposing the rampant fraud and malfeaseances of these child support collection GOV’t agencies violating my Civil rights and other citizens in CA.

    I also want to point your readers to another blogger-great writer caught up too in another Fatal Attraction Psycho whore-drama-rama…… rescuingmymarriage.wordpress.com

  24. walterdoege says:

    I am reading your blog…close to mine…today I can only say thank you for all and happy Easter…everyday is an eastern…

  25. David Navarre says:

    I’d forgotten the brick! What a dumbass.

    4. Do plays on words including the word “Peep” ever get old?
    If not accompanying the WaPo contest or something similar, yes.

  26. gus3 says:

    Today’s XKCD, although without a “peep” reference, seems appropriate for our types.

    http://www.xkcd.com/1042/ (also check the mouse-over text)

    The previous one might also be applicable.

  27. Michele says:

    I love the Peeps! My favorite Easter candy was Cadbury Creme Eggs washed down with a Diet Coke!

    My Easter was weird – my 12 year old was in Indiana with her Dad for Passover but returned Easter day in the afternoon. My 16 year old stayed home because of softball games. I hosted Easter dinner for the first time ever and my Jewish kids complained they didn’t get anything from the Easter Bunny. My response was:

    1) You are too old (maybe not the 12 year old but she was in Indiana with her Dad and in my book any 12 year old who flies by herself from RI to Indiana with a plane change is too mature for the Easter Bunny)
    2) You are Jewish

    My mother and I fought over Lamb and Prime Rib and somehow all the extra Prime Rib ended up going home with my vegetarian sister.

  28. kitchenmudge says:

    Brucking filliant, Mik. Beeps and a prick.

  29. The Hook says:

    I can’t get over how popular these Peep creatures are! Great work!

  30. Debra Colby-Conklin says:

    Is this how you get through a break-up? Pour your F**cking misery in a blog? Or should I consult a therapist and let them work through my sh*t?
    Either way…this sucks!
    And Peeps? Hate ‘em!

    Do I sound negative and angry and bitter? Sorry…I really do try to stay upbeat, but sometimes the up gets beat right outta me.

    Anyways, it’s always nice to read about other people who’ve been through this and survived, thanks for sharing.

    • Oh, Debra — the negative and angry and bitter are familiar states for many of us — you’re in good company! However, we try not to pour out fucking misery all over the place…rather, we try to find a good laugh here and there by relating, sharing and supporting. I’m glad you’re here — and I think we can all relate to having the up get beat right out of us!

      And for what it’s worth, I found therapy was worth shit. But that’s just me…because he wanted to teach me how to breathe.

      Um, thanks Mr. Therapist. Thanks a lot.
      ;)

      Take care, and I wish you continued healing!

      • Debra Colby-Conklin says:

        I’m sorry for coming across so angrily. I need the laughs, but right now am having a hard time finding the laughter in this…but you’re right, time will help me with that. Thanks for taking the time to respond!

        • I don’t think you come across angrily at all — maybe hurt. But if you have a few minutes, please take some time to peruse a few other posts…I promise you’ll find at least a laugh or two in there somewhere. I promise that’s what this is all about: healing through laughter. We have a great community, and most of us have “been there, done that.” Which sucks — but at least we have company!

          Welcome, Debra. :)

          • Debra Colby-Conklin says:

            Thank you for understanding. I guess I’m at the beginning of this process…again. Why did I even think it’d be easier the second time around? It’s not…seems worse for some reason. And you’re right, there does seem to be a wonderful community here to lean on. Thanks!

  31. Ouch. This came while I was in Florida, in my own private hell… and then, I missed it! Love your peep post! I have a fond history with peeps, and this just added to my smile. Love you to pieces Mikalee, and love the way your beautifully, creative, twisted mind works. Fabulous! You are very good peeps Mikalee… ^^

  32. Glad you can laugh and still deal with it in a positive way. It must’ve sucked having the kids gone, but we did easter early anyway, simply because I hate waiting to give shit to my kids. I think I get more excited than they do. Summer should be fun for us, though, we’ve already been to a ball game, and my 4-yr-old raced the mascot around the bases, which was way fun for him! Take care!
    –Mike
    http://burrilltalksbaseball.mlblogs.com

  33. Pingback: Weekend Wanderings: Late April 2012 « We're not lost, Sergeant, We're in … France

  34. I vote yes for saying “sucks ass” on Easter. :D It made my day.

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