I love you. Now go away…

Because EVERYTHING in life is better with a pink snowball and a stupid pointy polka-dotty hat...

I know. I suck.

It’s been a loooong time. And now, I’m totally teasing you.

Here’s the deal: A great bloggy buddy of mine, Catherine at Simply Solo, invited me to write a guest post over in her hood like a ba-jillion years ago. And I accepted — not knowing the world as I know it would be doing a complete 180 over its own equator at the exact same time (um, like, how ’bout that I’m about to join the ranks of the unemployed — voluntarily. Cuz I’m bat-shit crazy like that…).

Anyhow, my guest post published today — and I haven’t even written for my own blog in weeks! My apologies, because that’s not how I roll.

But Catherine is a brilliant writer, and funny, and she’s totally embracing her 2.0 version; thus, I think you’ll all enjoy her blog. (Plus, in the words of my 12-year-old son who came up behind me while I was scrolling through one of her posts today: “Wow, she’s hot, Mom!”)

Sooo…favor time: whaddya think about heading over and reading my guest post? Pretty please? I’m in need of some serious street cred in the bloghood, so if you could all venture over to Simply Solo by clicking here, I’d be much obliged. And please leave a comment, because that’s how you earn street cred in the bloghood.

Alternatively, I’ll have to start writing posts with words like “shiznit,” referring to Boyfriend Brett as my “boo” and asking questions like “what tha dilly, yo?”

I’m thinking I’d better just stick with begging you guys to read Catherine’s blog and leaving comments. Word? Word…

Anyhow, if you choose to follow me over there, you’ll see why I’m eating a snowball and rocking a pointy hat above. Plus, I’ll gladly return the favor and post something here soon — pinky swear! In fact, because I like teasing you all so much (and please click here if you need the back story before my next post):

  1. How exactly did Diet Coke respond to my last post — or did they at all?
  2. Am I now convinced The Universe indeed has giant fucking ears?
  3. Will I be blogging next week from the Spelling Estate?

Stay tuned.

Love ya mean it! ;)

(And one more time, just to exercise due diligence: www.simplysolo.wordpress.com. Click early and often, friends…)

About Mikalee Byerman

How can a sometimes bitter, definitely jaded, no longer trusting blindsided ex-wife still believe in happy endings? (not that kind of happy endings...sheesh, people...) By channeling her scary internal dialogue through a controversial blog/future book, swearing like a drunken sailor and spending all her spare time focused on helping others people heal. Oh, and wine...lots of good, red wine. Join me as I embrace my next best self (and help you discover yours) with Me 2.0!
This entry was posted in I heart symbols, My (forced) reinvention, My bat-shit crazy divorce and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

51 Responses to I love you. Now go away…

  1. Gow says:

    Hurry back! (dagnabbit) I think it’s a bad sign when the tags are as entertaining as the post. hehehe. Ya think? Mebbe?

  2. Liz says:

    I’ve been wondering how the universe was treating you. Come back soon and post an update. (Leaving comment as ordered)

  3. M.A. (aka Mary Alice) says:

    As always you kill me. Or nearly so. I laugh my ass off and my heart feels a tug. Somehow I’ve missed a few your your blog posts so I’m happy to find your updates and your guest starring role (I think there needs to be a – in there but I’m not certain).

    Thanks for making my day brighter. May Diet Coke always appear when you need it. May swollen dead squirrels forever be hidden from your sight. May the universe send you the best damned publisher or may the best damned publisher find you via a Google search for references to shitty divorces. Who needs Tiger Woods when they can have you?
    May your children grow realizing just how wonderful their mom is.

    M.A.

  4. Good on you for taking the full time-freelance jump . . . . wow!!

    For the second time in my life, I’ll be taking the same jump in November as part of our move to Iowa, so perhaps I’ll be joining you around the virtual water cooler here or at my (online) place to commiserate about clients and the like at least for awhile . . . either until I score the seven figure book deal and can have my minions handle my social media commitments for me OR until I head back into the wage-slave world. (Though, alternatively, I may just settle into being Mrs. JES’s house-slave instead, since the benefits are exceptional) . . .

    Good luck with the jump . . . it’s a brave one!

    • Ha — our symmetry is uncanny. Especially because I’m thinking of beginning a “Brave or Stupid Project,” which tracks my progress in the freelance field and poses the question: Was I brave to make this leap? Or just stupid?”

      Of course, there’s always the third option: Both.

      I wish you success as well. I hope that virtual water cooler is full, cuz I can hold my pee like a camel and we’ll have lots to dish about, I’d imagine!

      Congrats to you — and thank you as always for the support.

      • I love the “Brave or Stupid” concept . . . . most of the decisions I’ve made in my life would fall into the category of “Stupid . . . But I Am A Public Relations Guru, So I Will Now Convince You They Were Brave.”

        And if the water runs out at the cooler, I’ll always have my hip flask . . . so cheers to us both as we say “F.U.” to the scary job market and go our own ways . . .

        Wait, that was “STUPID” wasn’t it . . . okay, time to get the P.R. Machine working again. . . . We Brave, yo . . . shiznit!

        • “…most of the decisions I’ve made in my life would fall into the category of ‘Stupid . . . But I Am A Public Relations Guru, So I Will Now Convince You They Were Brave.’

          I am printing this on a piece of paper, framing it and hanging it in my new “F.U., I’m a freelance writer” home office wall.

          Word. ;)

  5. I’ll check it out. Fine stuff when people promote blogs of others. Give wp a sense of family.

  6. Tori Nelson says:

    I’ve missed your posts, lady!

  7. Already been there/done that…only because I love ya both! :)

  8. Catherine says:

    Hey Mikalee! Thank you SO much for guest posting on my blog today. Your post was hilarious and you SERIOUSLY brought it with your readers and comments. What a great reception!! Thanks again… you are such an inspiration for sharing your story and I just love your writing. And tell your son to call me when he’s legal. Haha jk :)

    • Thank YOU for the opportunity, Catherine. It has been a privilege, and I’m just glad we all get to help one another in some small way. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Those of us who’ve “been there, done that” through betrayal, separation, divorce and/or reinvention need to stick together!

      And I’ll definitely give my son the message, Cougar Catherine. ;)

  9. Harold says:

    Okay, I’m going be back later!

    • Harold says:

      I went, I commented, I returned.
      I have called back the search and rescue teams from looking for Me 2.0 maybe they should help this me 1.5 (see other blog comment).
      Good luck on the self-employed front. You can do it!
      I’m betting Diet Coke responded and sent you more Diet Coke, I’ll be waiting.
      Those ears must not be listening to me! I’m about to tell them off!
      The Spelling estate? I don’t need to buy a vowel…uhm, no.
      spelling, buy a vowel…get it? I was gonna say something about Vanna White too. Nah.
      Happy birthday again!

      • Oh, Harold…you are a wise, wise man…

        Perhaps The Universe is only pretending not to hear you so as to inspire doubt that will turn around once it stops pretending. Backward, I know…but possible!

        Good luck, hon. I appreciate you! :)

  10. wordsfallfrommyeyes says:

    You totally made me laugh – and I so need to laugh – SUPERBLY WELL WRITTEN!

  11. Brian Rowdy says:

    You are bat shit crazy like that! Nice.

    While I love the bold colors here, they are distracting from the small white letters, words and prose you are spinning. Recap: points for bold colors, but your writing should be front and center, not the color scheme.

    P.S. Found you through a Linked In ad or mention.

    • Haha! Thanks so much (I think). ;)

      And I will agree, I’ve found that the color scheme can be hard on the eyes on some screens, so I’m definitely considering a change. But as someone going through my “blood and death” phase post-divorce, I needed to set a tone from the beginning. The blog is evolving, so perhaps the color scheme will as well.

      Regardless, I appreciate the feedback!

  12. Harper Faulkner says:

    The Versatile Blogger Award — I’ve nominated you!

  13. You just got nominated again for Versatile Blogger award :) Love your blog! http://myeventfullife.wordpress.com/

  14. caseykayb says:

    Such torture just leaving us hanging like that for weeks! Just kidding. Looking forward to the next post here, and in the mean time I will check out your guest post.

    • No torture intended, I promise — perhaps in my new unemployed life (I guess I need to stop calling it that — self employed life, rather…) I’ll have more time to blog!

      Thanks so much for leaving a comment here and there. Totally appreciated!

  15. Anonymous says:

    I bet Diet Coke is going to supply you also with Vitamin WATER ZERO and upgrade the mini-cooler to a SUB-ZERO FRIDGE.

  16. MJ says:

    Congratulations on making the leap to full time freelancer!

    Wishing you much success and great post on Catherine’s blog!

    Best to you in your last days on the job!

    • Aw, thank you so much, MJ. This feels surreal. I almost had a full-blown breakdown at the grocery store last night, when I realized how much my weekly grocery bill is. And how exactly am I going to be able to afford that while unemployed?
      ;)

      But the answer: I will not be unemployed. Just self employed. And failure is not an option!

      I appreciate the support and well wishes, though. More than you know. My fingers are crossed!

  17. cbowiephoto says:

    Good to have you back. Im glad your rolling back here.

  18. Slamdunk says:

    Ok, so you convinced me–I am on the way over for a look.

  19. Tammy says:

    Love your writing and that you’re promoting another blog. On my way over to see you there.

  20. The Hook says:

    Great title! You have a distinctive style, young lady. Keep it up!

  21. Dana says:

    Mikalee we miss you!! Don’t stop blogging!

    • Aw, Dana — thank you for checking in. I’m not going to start telling you all about how incredibly “busy” I am between my new home-based biz, trying to secure clients, researching publishers and agents, taking care of my amazing kids, etc., because we’re ALL busy for different reasons. (Oh…wait…I think I just told you about all that in that previous sentence. My bad…).

      But I’m definitely trying to find a new “groove,” because the blog/writing is SUPER important.

      And I thank you for reaching out and caring! :)

  22. Beata A. says:

    The internet is a small place. I came to your blog from your comment on Michael LaBoissiere’s philosophy blog, and then I saw that you posted on Catherine’s Simply Solo, of which I’m a long-time reader! :)

    • Haha! Yes, I even did a post called “Six Degrees of Mikalee Byerman,” because it’s such a small, small world…

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting — I hope you read more and enjoy!

  23. O my!
    By the time I read what you wrote under the video I was laughing too much to continue reading!
    Priceless!
    But I made it!
    Too funny :D

  24. Anne Schilde says:

    Left my comment there.

If you do not leave a comment, you will further shatter my already broken spirit. If you can live with that guilt, so be it... ;)

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